So how does all the division and unwelcome-ness happen? Invariably it is because we break down into groups. Generically we call these groups cliques, as long as they are the ones that we are not a part of. The idea is that these groups are, if not organized, controlled by a semi-rigid system of rules and guidelines. Those who match the requirements of the group are generally admitted, while those who don't are essentially shunned.
Groups are an important part of life, I think it essential that we recognize our own interests and talents in others–and learn to seek out those others in order to progress and increase our own abilities. However these groups should NEVER be based on economic, racial, or any other social criteria. Rather we should see ourselves grouped according to our habits, interests, beliefs, and our personalities.
Within the church there is a healthy mix of all types of experiences and people. It is obvious that groups would be a common phenomenon of the ward structure. The organization of the church as a whole encourages groups. However, the church structure, unlike a natural or worldly organization, depends on the cooperation of these units in order to function (just think if the Democrats and Republicans tried to work together in order to achieve their goals).
Unfortunately, too often the inter-personal level of the church is ruled by the social stigmas that govern cliques. When this happens there are immediate divisions along the lines of social status, or more insidiously, according to perceived righteousness. What makes the later so dangerous is that the accepted and rejected instantly consider the other group to be the lesser–or evil–of the two. The resulting division robs the self-conceived 'right group' of the ability to progress–which can easily be both groups.
In a well balanced group–speaking from the viewpoint of within the church–there exists a strong understanding that we are all a part of the same structure. Whatever interests or influences that might exist within us are second to our dedication to the Lord and His work. Furthermore, we are all in the same boat, spiritually speaking, regardless of our proficiency in the gospel pursuits.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
How
Welcome everyone! Bri and I have been mulling over this issue for a long time. It is sad how things can progress–or stagnate–through such small and random things. It is clear that this is not just an issue of religion, or any other kind of social grouping. This is an issue of human nature, it is a natural phenomenon. Some see this definition and think: "well, if that's just the way things are, then oh well." This idea is the source of every prideful cop-out known to man. The ever present "this is the way I am–deal with it" or "God made me this way, so that must mean that He wants me to be this way, who are we to argue?". Well, those are nice, lazy, and self-indulgent theories, but we as LDS readers and (dare we hope) thinkers, recognize that just because the natural world and man is structured a certain way, doesn't mean that we should leave it that way.
What we hope to achieve here is a kind of forum to generate ideas for fixing this pervasive trait. Specifically we will focus (obviously) on an LDS community, whether that be an LDS neighborhood or a ward family. If you have an experience, don't hesitate to share it–but please don't think this is just an opportunity to vent. We don't want that. We are here to try and make an actual difference. So let's hear your thoughts, studies, and yes, share your good and bad experiences. We all recognize that no one is perfect, and so we all know that each of us has been on both the giving and receiving end of good and bad fellowshipping. We aren't looking for absolution through confession, but please don't hide any experience that can help the discussion.
As Latter-Day Saints, we feel that we have a responsibility to lead meaningful change, after all, it should come natural to treat our brothers and sisters as... well... brothers and sisters. So welcome to the discussion, welcome to the solution.
Are we looking to change the world? No. Just the people and experiences in it.
What we hope to achieve here is a kind of forum to generate ideas for fixing this pervasive trait. Specifically we will focus (obviously) on an LDS community, whether that be an LDS neighborhood or a ward family. If you have an experience, don't hesitate to share it–but please don't think this is just an opportunity to vent. We don't want that. We are here to try and make an actual difference. So let's hear your thoughts, studies, and yes, share your good and bad experiences. We all recognize that no one is perfect, and so we all know that each of us has been on both the giving and receiving end of good and bad fellowshipping. We aren't looking for absolution through confession, but please don't hide any experience that can help the discussion.
As Latter-Day Saints, we feel that we have a responsibility to lead meaningful change, after all, it should come natural to treat our brothers and sisters as... well... brothers and sisters. So welcome to the discussion, welcome to the solution.
Are we looking to change the world? No. Just the people and experiences in it.
Why
The reason I am deciding to start this blog, and hopefully stay on top of it more than the other blog, is because I think that an awareness needs to be made. The awareness and question being: Why as LDS (Mormon) people, do we make others in our wards and areas feel like they don't belong?
I wanted to bring this up because right now I am in the throes of this whole situation. I think it is important for people to be aware, and I want to know if people feel the same way I do. Also I want to see if there is a solution for the ever growing problem of people in wards and areas making others feel like they are less of a person because they are a certain way.
Like I said, right now I am in the middle of Mormon land. I live at Wymount in BYU housing. My husband attended BYU and just graduated. We are currently on our way out of Wymount, thanks to the graduation thing. Both my husband and I are very excited about moving, and getting out of the ward, which to me is very sad. We shouldn't feel like this, we should feel sad to leave the ward, and the people in it. These feelings were brought to a head, a couple of days ago. I had talked to a friend from our old ward, and found out that many of the girls that I loved have blogs. Now it may well be that I am pregnant and my hormones are wacky, but I don't think that is all. I felt really upset, and actually started crying, because I longed for that same feeling that we had in the old ward, to be in this new ward we are leaving. I wanted to have friends and be friends with the girls here.
It all started when we moved in to Wymount. We saw a few people in the yard, and said 'hi'. After moving in, we went to our ward for the first time. Of course, everyone knows how it feels to go to a new ward, and meet new people–awkward, and hard, but you try to push yourself out of your shell to find friends. I went to Relief Society and was introduced and said hello to. Well the next week came and no one talked to me, I was like "ok, lets see who I can sit by and try to talk to". I know I could have pushed myself more, and I don't blame everyone. Yes, I do have some fault here. Well it progressed like this from week to week, and now we are moving out, with no friends, just a few acquaintances. I am trying to figure out what happened and why I am leaving with no real friends. I remember once in RS, we were talking about Mothers, and their role in the family. Well, me, as a mother and wife, my role has been one of working and getting my hubby through school–providing for my family. I think this might be a reason why I didn't end up with any friends. I decided to put myself out there and speak my mind, I explained that I had an important role in my family by being the provider, many of the women in the ward gasped. It was a shock to them, many of them being stay at home moms, which I long to be myself someday (soon), but priorities right now are to provide. Was it really bad for me to say that I worked, was I really kicked out of the "club" because I am not able to stay at home with my little miss?
This is just a little snippet of how I feel. Undoubtedly I have breached a huge and broad topic. I would like to explore it with you, and see how you feel, let's see if anyone–and everyone together–can come up with a solution. I would like input from everyone, stories from everyone, how you felt like you had been kicked out of the "club". I am not trying to offend anyone here, but trying to bring light to a problem within the church, trying to figure out how we can change as Latter Day Saints.
I wanted to bring this up because right now I am in the throes of this whole situation. I think it is important for people to be aware, and I want to know if people feel the same way I do. Also I want to see if there is a solution for the ever growing problem of people in wards and areas making others feel like they are less of a person because they are a certain way.
Like I said, right now I am in the middle of Mormon land. I live at Wymount in BYU housing. My husband attended BYU and just graduated. We are currently on our way out of Wymount, thanks to the graduation thing. Both my husband and I are very excited about moving, and getting out of the ward, which to me is very sad. We shouldn't feel like this, we should feel sad to leave the ward, and the people in it. These feelings were brought to a head, a couple of days ago. I had talked to a friend from our old ward, and found out that many of the girls that I loved have blogs. Now it may well be that I am pregnant and my hormones are wacky, but I don't think that is all. I felt really upset, and actually started crying, because I longed for that same feeling that we had in the old ward, to be in this new ward we are leaving. I wanted to have friends and be friends with the girls here.
It all started when we moved in to Wymount. We saw a few people in the yard, and said 'hi'. After moving in, we went to our ward for the first time. Of course, everyone knows how it feels to go to a new ward, and meet new people–awkward, and hard, but you try to push yourself out of your shell to find friends. I went to Relief Society and was introduced and said hello to. Well the next week came and no one talked to me, I was like "ok, lets see who I can sit by and try to talk to". I know I could have pushed myself more, and I don't blame everyone. Yes, I do have some fault here. Well it progressed like this from week to week, and now we are moving out, with no friends, just a few acquaintances. I am trying to figure out what happened and why I am leaving with no real friends. I remember once in RS, we were talking about Mothers, and their role in the family. Well, me, as a mother and wife, my role has been one of working and getting my hubby through school–providing for my family. I think this might be a reason why I didn't end up with any friends. I decided to put myself out there and speak my mind, I explained that I had an important role in my family by being the provider, many of the women in the ward gasped. It was a shock to them, many of them being stay at home moms, which I long to be myself someday (soon), but priorities right now are to provide. Was it really bad for me to say that I worked, was I really kicked out of the "club" because I am not able to stay at home with my little miss?
This is just a little snippet of how I feel. Undoubtedly I have breached a huge and broad topic. I would like to explore it with you, and see how you feel, let's see if anyone–and everyone together–can come up with a solution. I would like input from everyone, stories from everyone, how you felt like you had been kicked out of the "club". I am not trying to offend anyone here, but trying to bring light to a problem within the church, trying to figure out how we can change as Latter Day Saints.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
.jpg)
